THE CANNONOMICON

In the Before, was I a humble pirate warlord. My ships numbered hundreds and every nation was afeared. How little did I know, me true path had yet been revealed. Me First Mate, family on th' high seas, had raised mutiny. I had no choice. So sadly, had I no choice but to execute the poor soul on sight. Without a sea breeze of a second, I barely thought and fired. A click. An explosion. The cool sizzle of th' exhausted barrel. Saw the universe explode before my very eyes! That was the day, I always say, that I became a Master Cannoneer. - <i>Captain L. Wright</i>