A sinner’s lament

I have done a terrible thing. And yet, I know, given the opportunity, I would do it again. My heart is heavy with the weight of my transgression, yet it also yearns to be free! Dear Lord, how can it be that I am flush with the desire for sin? Can a man so good and decent and kind truly be forbidden from love by your laws and covenant? Is it your will that a simple farm girl journey alone through a world of wickedness? If I am to live forever, cut off from the light of your grace, am I to deny myself when love and kindness offer succor in this unnatural place? I refuse to believe that you, in your mercy, would choose to lead me astray. I shall listen to my heart, and trust that I hear your wisdom in my dreams. -Megara